Sunday, December 30, 2012

How I wish

How I wish you could see what you are missing out on by being so judgmental. How you won't know how amazing and caring he is for those who are part of his world. How the other one dreams of growing up to do big things with technology so he can make big money and help people in need. How cute and funny she can be once she gets over being an over the top showboat to try and get your attention. How even though he is tiny he will do anything to help you and is so incredibly sweet How much you miss out on because you don't want to be around enough for them to get past trying to get your attention from the others. How much you could learn about them in quiet one on one time. How much you are missing out on because its not easy but it might be worth it. How you are breaking his heart and you should be the last one to do that to him. How you have taught the next one that he is important to you and now he doesn't trust you. How they are growing up and seeing the difference in how you treat them and its you that is going to miss out. They will move on not missing what they don't remember ever having. How it will you looking back and wondering how you could have done things differently so they would still be a part of your life. How you tossed the love they were offering to you to the side because it didn't come easy for you. How I hope you wise up before it is too late to fix the hole you have created

Monday, December 3, 2012


Tonight I go to bed humbled by the love that has been shown to our family this year by expected sources but also unexpected sources of people who just heard our story and stepped up to help even when we said we didn't need it. I am truly touched by the human kindness of people who can empathize and stand up to help give some one a hand or even a moment to say we heard your story and we are here for you. Amazing. Grateful and blessed

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Pondering the hearts

Tonight my heart ponders how people who say they love you can be so hard, cold and uncaring to the people they should love the most. I ponder how you can watch people struggling that you say you care about and not offer to help or even a phone call to check up on them but can sit back, cast judgement on us and exclude us. Then justify yourself to appease your guilt. We are trying to do to th
e best we can for what we have been dealt. Can you say you are doing your best to help your family? When you are laying on your death bed and looking over your life you will have regrets for what you didn't do and what you missed out on by excluding your family because it's not easy. I will know that I fought hard and did the best that I could to try and help my family and those who have touched my life.