Taking time to reflect on things to be grateful this week. I started out this week worried that Jason and Liam would be gone for two days. Could I handle the other 4 by myself for two days? Well I am happy to say that it went well. I am grateful that my Mom took Brenna for that night and so I only had 3 kiddos. They did surprisingly well for me so my worry was for naught. I am grateful that my Mom came and watched the 3 kids while I took Brenna to Kindergarten roundup. She was so super excited to see Kindergarten and ride the bus.
I am thankful for old friends and a new get together. A group of 6 of us had plans to meet up for dinner. Most of the ladies I met when Liam was less than a year old through a Moms group I joined. Over the years we drifted apart as our kids grew older and we added more kids to our families. It was wonderful to get together with them and catch up. We have hopes to make it a more routine event and I would love to see that happen. I am grateful for old friends and new starts to old ideas.
I am excited that I got to spend some time sewing this week and loved it. I made Brenna 2 dresses, a taggie like toy, a burb cloth, a sleep sack, and a hooded towel. Plus I baked and decorated cupcakes. It feels great to be creating again.
I am loving that Jas is embracing my love of nail polish and is spoiling me with little nail surprises. I am having a blast creating new manicure looks with all my fun polishes.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
An amazing video from an amazing family
I happened in to an amazing blog that I have found very informative and helpful in the land of attachment issues. I am truly amazed at how she manages all the things that RAD brings to the table. I wish that I could channel her in our trauma time.
Today she posted this amazing video that was created by one of her daughters about how far her other daughter has come. It is a stunning video and I had to share it.
From Welcome to My Brain here is the video
Today she posted this amazing video that was created by one of her daughters about how far her other daughter has come. It is a stunning video and I had to share it.
From Welcome to My Brain here is the video
Thursday, April 14, 2011
What has been up with us
Well after much hemming and hawwing and hiding I have decided to come clean with what is going on in our world. What's been keeping me from blogging. We have been dealing with issues with the kids. Some big ones some little ones but here is an overview of what we have been up to. This was part of an update
What I figure the best way to do this is to go by child. So lets start with the oldest and work down. Liam was diagnosed in August with pretty severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder. (http://www.childrenshospital.org/az/Site948/mainpageS948P0.html) He has a counselor he sees at the church where the little kids go to preschool. We really like her and so does Liam. She has helped us with getting him help at school as well. The biggest things she has helped us to understand is that part of his anxiety is shown through Selective Mutism. (http://www.selectivemutism.org/faq) This is why he may not respond to you when you talk to him especially in front of new people he doesn't know or in situations where he is not comfortable. Please understand it isn't because he doesn't want to respond he may not physically be able to. There are times when we are talking to him that he moves his mouth to answer and no sound comes out. It use to make us so frustrated with Liam but now that we understand we try other ways to get him to feel safe enough to respond. He is making progress, he can order his own food at restaurants sometimes we have to repeat it for him if it is a noisy place as he doesn't always speak loudly. If he feels like he is in trouble or has disappointed you he may not speak. If he is nervous about where he is or who is around he may not speak. Please don't take it personally if he doesn't respond or say Hi to someone you want him to talk to. I am sure if he could he would as I imagine as hard as it is for us to deal with it is even harder for Liam to feel that worried that he can't speak. He currently has an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) at school to help him when he struggles with communicating both verbally and written.
Alexis. Alexis has a few things going on. More than likely Alexis has attachment issues. Which is diagnosed as Reactive attachment disorder (RAD). There are two types of RAD inhibited and disinhibited. Alexis has the disinhibited type vs the inhibited type. The biggest difference is that kids with disinhibited type will seek attention from anyone including strangers instead of avoiding relationships and attachments. (for more information on RAD http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/reactive-attachment-disorder/DS00988/DSECTION=symptoms) I tried to find a something that explains ways to help for family members but didn't really find a good one but didn't find one for teachers of children with RAD and think that it does a good job of explaining things http://www.center4familydevelop.com/helpteachrad.htm We try really hard to follow the instruction and direction of our therapists in how best to help Alexis through this process. We realize we don't get it perfect but know that we are doing our best to help. This is a letter written by grandmother to other grandparents about her grandchildren with RAD. http://www.welcometomybrain.net/2011/03/letter-to-grandparents-of-children-with.html the blog this message is on is written by a mother who is raising kids with RAD. She has some great posts on her blog as well as videos on youtube. Another thing we are working with in regards to Alexis is more than likely early onset bipolar. Both sides of her biological family have bipolar. Alexis has a lot of the symptoms of having this. She is currently on meds to help her with this. If you would like more info on EOB please read here http://bipolar.about.com/cs/kids_diag/a/red_flags4.htm
Landon currently has a diagnosis of ADHD however lately we have been seeing more EOB signs in him and are working to determine what is the best course of action for Landon.
Brenna right now seems to be ok. She does struggle with opposition and defiance but we have our fingers crossed that it is from being 5 and nothing more. She is currently in treatment for a lazy eye and wears an eye patch for one hour each day to hopefully correct this. She was tested last summer for NF which thankfully came back negative. The Dr at St Vincents is still looking in to some other concerns with Brenna. We have our next appt with him in June. Hopefully all will check out well and she will be good to go.
Rogan is dealing with childhood apraxia of speech. (http://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/childhoodapraxia.htm) While it sounds scary and it can be his speech therapist thinks he will be able to overcome it. He ages out of First Steps and working with his current speech therapist on his 3rd birthday in June. He should be going in for testing through the school system for his speech. The therapist thinks he will qualify for assistance with through them. I am trying to be hopeful but as many of you know of our struggles with getting the school to acknowledge our kids needs makes me concerned a little.
So that is the overview of what we are dealing with in regards to the kids. It all manifests itself in different ways that we get to try and deal with but we do our best. So if I am a little short with you or seem unavailable know it probably wasn't you I am just having a bad day.
What I figure the best way to do this is to go by child. So lets start with the oldest and work down. Liam was diagnosed in August with pretty severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder. (http://www.childrenshospital.org/az/Site948/mainpageS948P0.html) He has a counselor he sees at the church where the little kids go to preschool. We really like her and so does Liam. She has helped us with getting him help at school as well. The biggest things she has helped us to understand is that part of his anxiety is shown through Selective Mutism. (http://www.selectivemutism.org/faq) This is why he may not respond to you when you talk to him especially in front of new people he doesn't know or in situations where he is not comfortable. Please understand it isn't because he doesn't want to respond he may not physically be able to. There are times when we are talking to him that he moves his mouth to answer and no sound comes out. It use to make us so frustrated with Liam but now that we understand we try other ways to get him to feel safe enough to respond. He is making progress, he can order his own food at restaurants sometimes we have to repeat it for him if it is a noisy place as he doesn't always speak loudly. If he feels like he is in trouble or has disappointed you he may not speak. If he is nervous about where he is or who is around he may not speak. Please don't take it personally if he doesn't respond or say Hi to someone you want him to talk to. I am sure if he could he would as I imagine as hard as it is for us to deal with it is even harder for Liam to feel that worried that he can't speak. He currently has an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) at school to help him when he struggles with communicating both verbally and written.
Alexis. Alexis has a few things going on. More than likely Alexis has attachment issues. Which is diagnosed as Reactive attachment disorder (RAD). There are two types of RAD inhibited and disinhibited. Alexis has the disinhibited type vs the inhibited type. The biggest difference is that kids with disinhibited type will seek attention from anyone including strangers instead of avoiding relationships and attachments. (for more information on RAD http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/reactive-attachment-disorder/DS00988/DSECTION=symptoms) I tried to find a something that explains ways to help for family members but didn't really find a good one but didn't find one for teachers of children with RAD and think that it does a good job of explaining things http://www.center4familydevelop.com/helpteachrad.htm We try really hard to follow the instruction and direction of our therapists in how best to help Alexis through this process. We realize we don't get it perfect but know that we are doing our best to help. This is a letter written by grandmother to other grandparents about her grandchildren with RAD. http://www.welcometomybrain.net/2011/03/letter-to-grandparents-of-children-with.html the blog this message is on is written by a mother who is raising kids with RAD. She has some great posts on her blog as well as videos on youtube. Another thing we are working with in regards to Alexis is more than likely early onset bipolar. Both sides of her biological family have bipolar. Alexis has a lot of the symptoms of having this. She is currently on meds to help her with this. If you would like more info on EOB please read here http://bipolar.about.com/cs/kids_diag/a/red_flags4.htm
Landon currently has a diagnosis of ADHD however lately we have been seeing more EOB signs in him and are working to determine what is the best course of action for Landon.
Brenna right now seems to be ok. She does struggle with opposition and defiance but we have our fingers crossed that it is from being 5 and nothing more. She is currently in treatment for a lazy eye and wears an eye patch for one hour each day to hopefully correct this. She was tested last summer for NF which thankfully came back negative. The Dr at St Vincents is still looking in to some other concerns with Brenna. We have our next appt with him in June. Hopefully all will check out well and she will be good to go.
Rogan is dealing with childhood apraxia of speech. (http://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/childhoodapraxia.htm) While it sounds scary and it can be his speech therapist thinks he will be able to overcome it. He ages out of First Steps and working with his current speech therapist on his 3rd birthday in June. He should be going in for testing through the school system for his speech. The therapist thinks he will qualify for assistance with through them. I am trying to be hopeful but as many of you know of our struggles with getting the school to acknowledge our kids needs makes me concerned a little.
So that is the overview of what we are dealing with in regards to the kids. It all manifests itself in different ways that we get to try and deal with but we do our best. So if I am a little short with you or seem unavailable know it probably wasn't you I am just having a bad day.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Life has been a challenge so I going to try a challenge
In honor of the turmoil and craziness our life has been lately I am going to take up a challenge Liam's counselor suggested. I am going to try and think of the good things as we work through the other stuff.
First and foremost I am thankful for my hubby, with out his support I don't think I could have made it through the last few months. His calm and patience in the chaos is always wonderful. The fact that his hugs shield me from the stress for the moments I am in his arms is like a welcome oasis in the storm.
My friend CeCe who always shares my amazement in the path my life takes and is always available to listen. She allows me to say the crap that I think even if i don't really mean it and never condemns me for it.
My sister for listening and sharing what she knows since her kids are older than mine and she raises kids for a living.
My Dad In Law for all he does with Liam providing him a calm in the storm that is our home at times. For being brave enough to tell me what his concerns were even though he was worried it would upset us and even more for listening to our concerns and still being there for us.
I am grateful that I sucked up my fear and talked to who is now Liam's therapist. She has been a big blessing to our family not just with Liam but with all of us.
Those are some of my gratefuls right now. What are some of yours
First and foremost I am thankful for my hubby, with out his support I don't think I could have made it through the last few months. His calm and patience in the chaos is always wonderful. The fact that his hugs shield me from the stress for the moments I am in his arms is like a welcome oasis in the storm.
My friend CeCe who always shares my amazement in the path my life takes and is always available to listen. She allows me to say the crap that I think even if i don't really mean it and never condemns me for it.
My sister for listening and sharing what she knows since her kids are older than mine and she raises kids for a living.
My Dad In Law for all he does with Liam providing him a calm in the storm that is our home at times. For being brave enough to tell me what his concerns were even though he was worried it would upset us and even more for listening to our concerns and still being there for us.
I am grateful that I sucked up my fear and talked to who is now Liam's therapist. She has been a big blessing to our family not just with Liam but with all of us.
Those are some of my gratefuls right now. What are some of yours
Friday, July 23, 2010
Ever feel like you are living the movie Groundhog's Day
This is just a vent, please do not feel compelled to read or comment. I just need to get this out there so I can move on with my rinse and repeat day. Do you ever feel like you are living the movie Groundhog's Day? I do, all the time. I wish that I could learn what ever it is I need to learn so I can move on to a new day. In the movie things are a little different but basically the same and that is how I feel. I can almost guarantee that everyday will start with Brenna screaming this high pitched scream, Landon banging on something, followed by going in their room and telling Landon to please put on his clothes and to bring down the things he has peed on. Then during the day Alexis will have a screaming, kicking tantrum, Rogan will climb on the counters to get something, Brenna and Landon will be mean to the dog, Liam will boss everyone and get mad that they don't listen. Followed by Landon getting whiny and argumentative over a minor thing, Brenna getting tired and picking at everyone, then Alexis will take over being bossy and tell everyone how to play then wonder why the other kids don't want to play with her, me having to ask where's the fire since everyone is screaming or running or both. Later Liam will hate what ever we are eating and say he is full, Alexis and Landon will argue over bedtime, then right before bedtime Liam will suddenly be starving and ask for fruit and will nibble at it incredibly slow so he can't go to bed and pretend he can't hear when we say hurry up or that's it it's time for bed. Then I will stay up way too late savoring the quiet and lack of drama only to wash and repeat the day when I awaken the next morning. I do realize that this is just part of the life of Mommy but man am I tired of it. I know some day I am suppose to miss this part but I really can't imagine. The best part of it all is that if I get frustrated by it all and try to vent I just piss people off because I am just suppose to let it go and not worry about it. Thanks for listening, I now return you to your regularly scheduled life.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I am a bad blogger
I am a bad blogger. I could lie and say that I realize this and will be better about it in the future but why try to fool you or myself. I love blogging but lately it has seemed like it was another thing on the to do list and it never made it to the top. Plus I think that lately I have felt I should practice if the if you don't have something nice to say theory.
Things in the land of love and chaos have been feeling a little overwhelming chaotic. I wish I knew the reason for the chaos so I could turn it off. I know the source, I just don't understand the reasoning. I am hoping we are now on a path to less chaos with the ultimate destination a happier family. I know it's possible but man the map to that destination looks awful long and hard but then again if you look back at the journey to this point it probably looks the same.
For now I continue the path and hope the road isn't as bumpy as I anticipate and that some of the pit stops will include checking in with you my friends.
Things in the land of love and chaos have been feeling a little overwhelming chaotic. I wish I knew the reason for the chaos so I could turn it off. I know the source, I just don't understand the reasoning. I am hoping we are now on a path to less chaos with the ultimate destination a happier family. I know it's possible but man the map to that destination looks awful long and hard but then again if you look back at the journey to this point it probably looks the same.
For now I continue the path and hope the road isn't as bumpy as I anticipate and that some of the pit stops will include checking in with you my friends.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Names, Names, Names, everybodys got one
Kelly at Kelly's Korner hosts, Show Us Your Life, each week. This week she is doing Kid's Names and we have several of those so I thought I would participate. I love names and have tons I wanted to use but here is the story of how each of our kiddos their names. All of our kids have 3 names plus our last name. They each have names in honor of someone in our lives. So lets start with the oldest.
William Kenneth Monroe or better known as Liam. He is named William after my step father and great Uncle. Kenneth after both my hubby and Father in Law's middle names. Monroe was the last name of lots of my family on my mom's side.
Then we have Alexis Grace Marie. Alexis is the name she came to us with at 19 months old. When her adoption was final we changed her middle names to Grace after my paternal grandmother and Marie is my middle name and I believe is also after one of my mother's grandmothers
Next up is Landon Joshua Bryan. He came to us at 1 month old as Joshua Bryan and when his adoption was final we added Landon to the beginning of his name. Landon we just liked. Joshua was from his birth family but is also my cousin's name. Bryan is the middle name of my brother and also his birth father.
Brenna Gwendolynne Anne, such a big name for our tiny daughter. We picked her up at the hospital as Christina Lynne. When we knew she was going to be ours forever we named her Brenna, I have always loved Brenna no family name but if we wouldn't have had Landon with Bryan as a middle name Brenna would have been Brynna and after my brother. Gwendolynne is a name Jason liked but also incorporates her birth middle name so she still has part of that. Anne is for my sister and mother, they share that middle name as well as part of my friends middle name.
Finally we have Rogan Wayland Charles. When brought him home from the hospital he was Bryan Christopher. We weren't planning on his arrival to our family and weren't sure what his long term story would be. Shortly after we got home from the hospital with him Jason and I were discussing what his name would be if he stayed with us. We weren't sure but than the TV said "Hi my name is Rogan" We didn't see what it was but we both looked at each other and decided that was a cool name. The Wayland is Jason's grandfather's middle name. He was a cool guy that I unfortunately only got the pleasure of meeting once. Both he and my Grandfather were Harry W's which I thought was neat but Jason's grandfather had the neater middle name so we went with that. Charles is my Father's middle name, my great grandfather's first name and one of Jason's awesome uncle's name. We thought of keeping Christopher but I have a past with a Christopher that I am not found of and even though it wouldn't have been after him I couldn't bring myself to leave it as part of his name.
Other names I love and have considered in our journey to name our youth are for girls Christianna, Paxton (after the character in Message from Nam) Fallon, Harper ( we actually sometimes call Brenna, Harper B. In fact we used it so often that she use to tell me her name wasn't Brenna it was Harper B or Harper Beeb) and Calliope. For Boys I have a shorter list as we got to name 3 of them. I still like Grayson, but it is so popular, Derek, and Airton.
Those are our names and we sticking with them. Thanks for stopping by and seeing what we were up to.
William Kenneth Monroe or better known as Liam. He is named William after my step father and great Uncle. Kenneth after both my hubby and Father in Law's middle names. Monroe was the last name of lots of my family on my mom's side.
Then we have Alexis Grace Marie. Alexis is the name she came to us with at 19 months old. When her adoption was final we changed her middle names to Grace after my paternal grandmother and Marie is my middle name and I believe is also after one of my mother's grandmothers
Next up is Landon Joshua Bryan. He came to us at 1 month old as Joshua Bryan and when his adoption was final we added Landon to the beginning of his name. Landon we just liked. Joshua was from his birth family but is also my cousin's name. Bryan is the middle name of my brother and also his birth father.
Brenna Gwendolynne Anne, such a big name for our tiny daughter. We picked her up at the hospital as Christina Lynne. When we knew she was going to be ours forever we named her Brenna, I have always loved Brenna no family name but if we wouldn't have had Landon with Bryan as a middle name Brenna would have been Brynna and after my brother. Gwendolynne is a name Jason liked but also incorporates her birth middle name so she still has part of that. Anne is for my sister and mother, they share that middle name as well as part of my friends middle name.
Finally we have Rogan Wayland Charles. When brought him home from the hospital he was Bryan Christopher. We weren't planning on his arrival to our family and weren't sure what his long term story would be. Shortly after we got home from the hospital with him Jason and I were discussing what his name would be if he stayed with us. We weren't sure but than the TV said "Hi my name is Rogan" We didn't see what it was but we both looked at each other and decided that was a cool name. The Wayland is Jason's grandfather's middle name. He was a cool guy that I unfortunately only got the pleasure of meeting once. Both he and my Grandfather were Harry W's which I thought was neat but Jason's grandfather had the neater middle name so we went with that. Charles is my Father's middle name, my great grandfather's first name and one of Jason's awesome uncle's name. We thought of keeping Christopher but I have a past with a Christopher that I am not found of and even though it wouldn't have been after him I couldn't bring myself to leave it as part of his name.
Other names I love and have considered in our journey to name our youth are for girls Christianna, Paxton (after the character in Message from Nam) Fallon, Harper ( we actually sometimes call Brenna, Harper B. In fact we used it so often that she use to tell me her name wasn't Brenna it was Harper B or Harper Beeb) and Calliope. For Boys I have a shorter list as we got to name 3 of them. I still like Grayson, but it is so popular, Derek, and Airton.
Those are our names and we sticking with them. Thanks for stopping by and seeing what we were up to.
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